Hello everyone. It has been a
long very long time since I wrote a post… Wow, my last one was in August… I hope you haven’t forgotten me! So many things happened and I don’t know where to start.
First of all, (I know I’m late) Happy New Year!! No more 2020, no more 2021, a fresh new chapter of 2022! Seriously, where did these two years go by? Even as new days enter, we still have one pervasive thing that unites these years- the pandemic. My life without wearing masks and thrusting sanitizers on my palms every minute is so fuzzy and hard to recollect. Every phase of life is tempestuous but the pandemic is an unexplainable crazy ride. The amount of musings I have experienced in this period is colossal. It has made me a pensive person.
The new year ignited many emotions. Excitement, frenzy, anxiety, merriness and so much more. But one common emotion I noticed in myself and a few others around me was- overwhelm. Isn’t it so bizarre how 2 years passed by, yet it feels like yesterday there were rumors were erupting of a mysterious virus? If time is passing by at the speed of light, don’t I need to have stellar time management skills?
The primary reason why I went on this hiatus was because of these inundating and overwhelming emotions. Exams, goals, COVID, life. Everything is speeding in like a fast-paced video! There were some major changes that took me some time to process as well.
At school, I am entering a very intensive and rigorous year of studies. I have been getting a TON of homework and exams just keep rolling in sequentially. I think in December, this feeling combined with other anxieties and a plethora of confusion started building up.
I didn’t expect to lose all my free time and hence the mass procrastination started. All my little joys i.e., hobbies were put away and I must’ve altered my schedule a hundred times, trying to find ways to increase an hour in my routine.
Blogging, which used to be my escape from all these thoughts, became a task to accomplish, which I couldn’t. I was disappointed really with myself for not being able to write quality posts and seeing the views decrease made me miserable. I kept coercing my brain to churn up some creative concoction and when it wouldn’t, I just felt like my dexterity for writing dried up or something…
I had written a poem long ago about dealing with the future rushing in, and I thought this was the perfect time to share it.
What Awaits Me?
I’ve had thoughts—in excess,
Yet bewilderment governs me,
The more I dream, reality collapses;
Constructing a grotesque picture,
The sight of it—bringing shudders.
For a moment, the trophy is mine,
Appreciating my modus operandi,
But the piercing words of another,
Rush the mind into worries;
“Am I worthy of my goals?”
Should there be boulders?
Should a fence conserve the potential?
Should a feast be showcased,
When I struggle with sparse?
“Is it possible to fly high?”
One can pray that time recedes,
Better preparation could commence,
An infant soul entering the unknown,
Pure bliss revealing itself,
“Can there truly be no regrets?”
Don’t we all want a pause button?
Once, my tests ended. I had some time to reflect on myself and tackle this annoying feeling. I went through articles, tips, podcasts, etc. Basically, everything I read had some common sentences:
These Emotions Are Natural.
Everyone feels this way.
You need to relax and rewind.
Though it sounded platitude, I decided to put this into practice. If I felt overloaded, I would tell myself,
“My friends might also be feeling like this… or my cousins… or maybe someone on the other side of the world…”
Just this little voice, powered me and helped to efficiently calm my fuzzy mind.
After I was able to gain control of myself and cool down, I decided to get back onto my feet and resume all that I stopped. I started to practice playing my violin more frequently. I opened up my old poems and stories and edited them. I read some amazing, optimistic books. The best part was when I came back to the blogosphere and read all the wonderful posts you guys published! They made me so happy and helped pull me out of this spiral. I was rejuvenated! Slowly, by inculcating back my hobbies I was able to calm myself down and learn to go with the flow.
Going back to the little joyful things is a must. The road of life will definitely be bustling and full of traffic, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop to admire the flowers that bloom on the sidewalks. It might seem like today you are drowned in a TON of reminders, tasks, and responsibilities but trust me….. breathing in will clear up the clutter.
I decided to update Jovial Pages. Almost half a year, I left this blog parched. And I want to continue to share an authentic look at mental health and in my small way bring positive energies in everyone’s lives😀
To sum up the experience, feeling overwhelmed is fine but you shouldn’t let that congested feeling pave your path. I get it, it might feel like a perpetual void, but if you just give yourself time to process, everything will be okay.
Secondly, you should never compromise on your hobbies or breaks. Set at least an hour every day to write, paint, listen to music, or do whatever you like. It is of utmost salience or else you shall become a zombie with work piling up more and more. Spend time with friends and family, read some uplifting books; because in these times, we need to muster up every bit of hope and positivity in ourselves.
Armed with hobbies, positivity, and gratitude, you can surely climb on top of the mountain of overwhelm and feel utterly blissful!
I haven’t left blogging, I never plan on leaving this blog and I am going to try to post once a week (maybe Sundays?). Before I conclude, I want to express my immense gratitude to all my wonderful friends in the blogosphere who reached out to me via email during this period. I have no words to thank you guys. The emails you sent brought a huge smile to my face and it motivated me to come back and write!!
Well, that’s all. I hope you enjoyed reading my post after quite some time hehe! Liked the poem? Were you able to relate to it? Did you experience overwhelming emotions or just this urge to pause time? How do you deal with it? Any tips? How did you come out of your blog hiatus (if you had one)? How did you celebrate New Year? Any book recs? Any post ideas?
Let me know in the comments! 😁